I was fortunate enough to find a book titled Research Writing (2007) by Cecile Badenhorst and it has surpassed my expectations of pretentious academic discourse to open up myself as the reader to a world of possibilities in writing. In my creative writing I often experience bursts of energy and confidence, much like having a dream waking up and quickly writing down all the details before they disappear. Academic writing however demands more consistency and the ability to conceptualise something worth the academic community's time. I hit page 11 of the book and had to rethink my approach to engaging with and writing my dissertation. Lets just say I am now writing on coloured paper with funky gel coloured pens. Never has a book gotten me more excited about the power of a purple pen! I'm on an amazing journey as a writer, meeting myself, challenging where I stand with my research and changing my perspective on how enjoyable my research could actually be. I've completed a number of exercises in the book and the first one I did asked me to consider what kind of a writer I believe myself to be. Below is the paragraph I wrote describing me as a writer:
THE WRITER
I appear to be quiet, contemplative and deeply thoughtful on the outside and have a million screaming ideas on the inside. I have bouts, or what I will playfully refer to as 'flouts' (for their random nature) of happiness, grand ideas and images that play in my mind. I then experience doubt, a scrambling in thoughts and then a flatness in energy and creativity. I regard myself as an all kinds of writer. Struggling, uninterested and unmotivated. But among all those crushing words there lies some determination and potential joy. I'm a desperate writer, but when I can enter the same state I experience in my dreams the anxiety becomes a thought I don't remember. I'd like to meet myself in my writing rather than just letting the pen dance on paper. Let me write what I like.
